Let's say I have been on some kind of 'life arrest'.
I wish I could give you more acceptable reasons, like perhaps I have submitted myself to some kind of digital sabbatical or I have been deployed to accomplish some life-changing mission so I can justify my silence in this little pocket of e-universe. But the simple truth is...life happened. Adulthood pulled me into a hurricane of bigger responsibilities, effectively reducing the already meager time that I used to allot for adding something (thoughtful musings and verbalized thoughtlessness alike) to this online space. Priorities took a 180-degree turn. The corporate world slapped on my forehead an invisible Post-It, reminding me that our nine-to-five could eat up the rest of our lives ...if we allow it to. Sometimes, I could be helpless about it. Sometimes, when I am stubborn and willful enough, I could escape it for a while.
Life simply happened.
I have not severed my ties to the online world totally, though. There are social networking sites, where time and again I put up something to express my never-ending love affair with books, a few words on current events, gushing about pop culture, among others. But what I missed is staying here. I missed spending hours doing book reviews, churning out meta-essays about fictional characters, crafting more poems, and even drafting fanfiction. I missed making poor excuses for artworks. I missed staying up until the wee hours of the day when all I do is scroll up and down to read posts of fellow bibliophiles, wallowing in the warmth of the fact that somewhere out there, people devote a big part of their hearts for literature and fandoms, too. Does all of this equate to missing being a kid? Hah.
But most of all, I missed writing. I write constantly in the day, but the kind of stuff I produce out there sometimes makes me feel like an obligations-fueled marionette, chained to a tiny bank account. I get tired of it sometimes, but hey, it's part of the equation of being an adult! I just truly missed the kind of writing where I feel more alive, more free, more...me.
Today, I realized it is about time I clear this online home of the dusts and cobwebs that have accumulated in my absence. I took the time to put up a couple of book reviews (I cheated and have them anti-dated, haha!). I have more of those in my drafts, plus a few posts detailing what happened in the previous months. Maybe I'll get to clean them up and post more in the coming days, considering the amount of leaves I filed in December. I hope that by doing that I will be able dredge up the kid in me once more, the one with rosy-colored lenses when viewing the world. I feel the need to oil up again the gears I left almost rusting to the wind. And I guess I just want to feel holistically happy again.
(Now that I think about it, this has sounded more of a note-to-self than a "hi again" post to fellow bloggers. More precisely, it sounded more like a note to a version of myself, to the nerdy gal who actively contributes to the fandom she's a part of. Moving on...)
No matter how small of a thing it is to be able to blog again here, I'm so drinking to it. No alcohol though. Just a good cup of darjeeling will do.
If someone is reading this...well, see you in my next posts!