Growing up and growing old.
I nearly smacked myself when I realized I didn’t have a birthday post of any sort. Not that it was a tradition or anything. I have a couple of mindless, bliss-induced doodles and word-vomit on my journal, but something on my blog would be special, too. So cutting this crying-over-spilt-milk stage, here's a little something to rectify the wee mistake. :P
Being twenty gave me this feeling of being stuck between having something of a perk and a disadvantage; sorry for the vagueness, but I just couldn’t put a finger on it. I’m there right now, drifting betwixt the urge to cling to the carefree world of youth and the overpowering magnetism to charge along the responsibility-driven world of adults. It was disconcerting in the least, but I guess that’s just the side effect of taking a two-decade dosage of life.
There wasn’t much of a celebration—of the traditional kind at least, since my birthday week was chuck-full of all sorts of gifts. God has been so generous to me lately—not even counting that The Philippine Star article—and sometimes I couldn’t help but to wonder if I deserve it. “Of course you do,” a tiny voice at the back of my head would murmur. “Everybody does. Maybe God thought the right time to give you your little drizzle of presents would be on your birthday week. You gotta make the most out of 'em.”
On the twenty-fourth, I didn’t even get to spend the largest chunk of time with my family. I went to a job interview for a newspaper post, then I headed to school to claim my DFA stub. Everything was normal at home, save maybe for the additional amount of food on the table and the random happy-birthday-to-you’s of some people popping in the doorway. The next day, I went for an interview for a TV company, and later that afternoon I received a phone call from the newspaper company I went to the day before, telling me about the schedule of my panel interview on September. On the sixth of the first –ber month, I would be going to the DFA to get the authentication of my transcript of records.
You see, my future is still a blur. I’m still not certain if I would be working abroad or here, but I just go with the current, chiseling my choices into their best shape until it’s time for the fateful pick. That’s when I think God has given me the first gift to me as an adult: a free choice of my future.
Growing up and growing old. I wonder why there’s so much joy and nervousness in undergoing both. Either way, one thing’s for sure: it’s inevitable.
Here’s to the future and the hopes that it will be bright as I’ve envisioned it—with the help of friends, family, and God. Cheers! :)