Wednesday, July 2, 2008

Widowed for Weeks

There are several moments in my life that I want to freeze into something that I could hold onto forever.

Or, for a three fourths of a lifetime at least.

For instance, I want to bring home a portable box of the raindrops dribbling against the cobblestones of Intramuros; the cotton-candy clouds thawing into a sea of pink sunlight; the ragamuffins leaping in uncontrollable excitement over the steel rails of the local railway; the crimson of the sunset dyeing an abandoned doll on the bench; or even the simplest things that I treasure, like my father’s smile. They were more than precious.
Sure, I could always keep them in my heart for an eternity, but some kind of a material remembrance would be better, right? Especially that I have this irritating sometimes-long-term-and-sometimes-short-term memory loss. Well, I have the answer: photography.

Indeed. And admittedly, this light-drawing thing is something that could make my hair stand on end or stain my cheeks with patches of curiously inconspicuous pink (perhaps due to my ashen caramel pigment, eh?) just by staring at the photos. Wow.

My father finally bought me a Canon F55-F55D just recently and I was beyond grateful for it. I started wreaking havoc with it, clicking here and clicking there until my ecstasy would be cut abruptly when the LCD panel blink to tell me that I’ve ran out of ammo (read: film). It wouldn’t be long when I’d be joining the ‘battle’ (of sorts, in a sense that it eats up a big, JUICY slice of time from my already crammed up schedule) again, because I would do anything to resume….’fighting’.

And just more recently, since we ran short of cash for the payment of the heap of bills that have been pinned up impatiently on our refrigerator door, mother have to pawn the camera to a friend of her. I felt like widowed, really, but I couldn’t do anything. Besides, mother was more important; our supply of water and electricity were important too. I think Kaleido (the name I christened the camera) could wait.

So I stopped the shutterbug-ging for some time. It was a bit timely, since my schedule tightened up a little (just a little) more with a little (just a little yet again) more school bunkums. But as the month of June waved bye-bye, we were able to redeem Kaleido after we paid off the pawnbroker with half my allowance my school provides me monthly.

I wasn’t able to return to the same level I left off the last time I spent with Kaleido, but my love for him didn’t trail off. I didn’t have much spare time, that’s the only problem. Purchasing ammo was out of the question too, because my mother kept on stacking lessons about austerity in my head time and again. (And boy I was conscientious about the bucks I splurged!) Anyway, I’ve bought myself my very first i-mag photography magazine and I think it’s quite practical to study more about photography before running around like a moron with a little black machinery dangling from her neck.

Okay, I’m a self-proclaimed mad schoolgirl but my Kaleido isn’t a machine by any means. He’s my love! I would give him full-time attention this coming October, when the first semester ends.

I’m looking forward to it. XD